I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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