pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
