It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
