Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
