dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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