If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
