i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
