youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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