so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
