yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
