Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
