dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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