Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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