I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
