The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
