Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
