Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
