btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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