Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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