You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
