What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize