I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
