my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
