one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
