I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
