Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
