we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
