Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
