He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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