I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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