We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
