From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
