Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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