Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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