Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Four minutes until I can fart!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
