I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
