We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
