so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
