I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
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That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
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Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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