My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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