no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
