My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
