last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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