I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
