I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
