piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
