I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
