Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
