i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My life is pants optional.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
