Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
