I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
