come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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