why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize