If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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