wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
