He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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