Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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