God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
