so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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