I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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