DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
