Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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