don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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