I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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