Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
